This post may be a little all over the place so hang with me. I like all of you are living this new normal right now and I am not sure what to think of it really....
First let me say, that I am SO thankful to all the medical personnel, Police, Fire and EMS AND Grocery store workers that keep putting themselves out there to care for the sick, keep us safe and keep the shelves as stocked as they can so we can get what we need. I for one appreciate you all.
For me personally this has sucked. I am healthy and I have a roof over my head, food in my house, a job and yes, the ever elusive TP.... However, I feel stuck, I feel lost, I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. I happen to like being out and about and with people. Being forced to be home has made me sad. I think it's the anxiety of the unknown. When will this end, when can I go back to the office, when can I workout in a group with friends, when can I shop..... I like control of my life and right now I don't have that. There are a 100 things I could be doing in my house but I have no desire or motivation to do them right now. And I wonder, what will life look like after this? Will we really go back to "normal"?
I started this particular blog a month ago and just didn't feel like finishing. So now a month later I reread the above 3 paragraphs and I pretty much feel the same.... However, they are now starting to talk about opening up the states, the economy, etc... I have mixed feelings about this. I've read the guidance and it is as vague as ever.... how long in each phase do you wait to get to the next? And is this our life forever now? Go be free, oh wait hold on we have had an uptick in COVID-19 so everyone back home again? I am not advocating either way, stay home for the next however long or open it all up. I just want direction and an ACTUAL plan. Because what is out there is NOT a plan. And what happens when the next virus comes??? I swear we are living EVERY sci fi movie ever made right now.
Are there things I enjoy about this time? Yes there are and I try to focus on those. Like, I am getting to spend more time with Grayson. I don't have to get up at 5am to get to work. Because of technology I am able to still work and workout. But the silence and quiet time allows my mind to race and wander and that is what gives me stress and anxiety. Yes I know I should focus that on other things but that is not how it works. Trust me I am thankful for all that I have but this is not healthy at least not mentally or emotionally.
I am trying to find the silver lining but right now I just want this to be done. I miss my family! I miss hugging people. I miss going wherever I want whenever I want.
I need the people in charge, our government, to GET IT TOGETHER!! And before anyone goes there, this is NOT about one party or the other. This is the WHOLE damn group of them. Come together put together a REAL plan and strategy. We are WAY past blame and need to move forward. WE THE PEOPLE are not your pawns. Get our healthcare workers, our essential workers the equipment they need so we can keep them safe. Stop fighting over stupid shit, act like an actual adult and figure this out.
What I would like to see come out of this craziness is that we actually talk to each other, hang out - phones down, go outside and actually live. Find the beauty in the world. And MOST of all I would love to see us come together and move forward UNITED.
As our communities begin to open up again, PLEASE be considerate of each other, help each other, support each other. Support those local businesses that may not have been able to stay open in some regard during all of this. Love on those who have lost something during this time regardless of how small you may think it is. It may be the biggest thing to them at this moment in time.
Anxiously waiting to see what our world will look like as we move forwad.
Nic
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